just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize