I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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