Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
