you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
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