Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
