I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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