I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize