Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
