you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
