NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i think i have two assholes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
