She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
