I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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