turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
