YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
