I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
