shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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