We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
