Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
and you fell through a lawn chair
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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