just come out here and I will go home with you...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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