I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
