I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
