So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
