Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
