if you like me you must not know who I am
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
