i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
