her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
