Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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