He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
