i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
