I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
