i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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