I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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