You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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