I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
