and you said cock pushups were impossible
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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