if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
