ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
