Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize