Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize