dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
