i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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