Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
