It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Small penises have feelings too.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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