And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
