Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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