I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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