This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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