Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
