The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize