I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
