just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
