I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
