We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
