i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize