How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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