pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize