I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Randomize