It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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