Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
