who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
