i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I understand Curling. That high.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
