what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
